


On the Cusp of Something Great (Or the Edge of an Abyss)

by mthrfkrgdhrwego (universalchampbalor)



Category: Professional Wrestling
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Companion Piece, Drabble, Gen, Retrospective, authority seth, guess who's showing up 5 years late to the shield breakup w starbucks and vague angst, i miss seth being an asshole in a Fun Way, its angsty ~~in context~~
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-11 08:23:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20543057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/universalchampbalor/pseuds/mthrfkrgdhrwego
Summary: He isn’t sorry. Yeah, he knows that he’s the reason the Shield imploded, that things had been going well (notsmoothly, butwell) before he grabbed that chair, that he could be seen as the“weak link”because he’s the one that“broke”first, but he doesn’t regret a damn thing. He’d do it all over again, a hundred times.





	On the Cusp of Something Great (Or the Edge of an Abyss)

**Author's Note:**

> This is the spiritual successor/companion piece to [I Have Blood So I Must Bleed](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20252701)!

It takes a stern lecture from Triple H for Seth to realize that being homesick doesn’t mean  _ “I’m sorry.” _

He isn’t sorry. Yeah, he knows that he’s the reason the Shield imploded, that things had been going well (not  _ smoothly _ , but  _ well _ ) before he grabbed that chair, that he could be seen as the “ _ weak link” _ because he’s the one that  _ “broke” _ first, but he doesn’t regret a damn thing. He’d do it all over again, a hundred times.

He isn’t sorry for thinking of himself, of the company, over his old teammates. He isn’t sorry for bettering his career because he knows that Roman and Dean will be  _ fine _ without him (He hates how he still cares about something as inconsequential as their  _ feelings _ ). He isn’t sorry about doing what’s best for business.

The only thing he’s sorry for is not doing it sooner.

Twenty months is a long time to be  _ stuck _ in a team, to be  _ held back _ for the betterment of others. Twenty months leaves a lot of time for resentment to grow, a lot of time for hatred and rage to fester in a ribcage, corrosive like poison, an all-consuming  _ disease _ . 

Twenty months leaves a lot of time to develop  _ feelings _ .

Seth never liked Dean, never liked Roman, never liked anything other than himself and the business. The Shield was a means to an end, something that was useful until it wasn’t, something to be used until it becomes a liability and then be discarded in favor of something  _ better. _ Seth knows this in his brain, in his gut, down to his  _ bones _ . He’d like to think that he’s logical, that he’s someone above emotions, but apparently, his heart never got the memo.

He misses it, sometimes. Misses hiding in the bowels of arenas, sneaking around for the hell of it. Misses bribing the techs to play their entrance. Misses hotel rooms much too small for three men, misses the cramped, shitty van, misses the  _ company _ . He misses Dean’s obnoxious laugh and Roman’s snoring and the easy, carfree presence of someone else.

It’s lonely at the top.

But Triple H is right; missing them and regretting his decision are two different beasts. Neither is  _ good _ , neither is productive, but one is infinitely better than the other. He can deal with missing them, he can deal with the homesickness, he can deal with the little needles of emotion that sometimes takes over his chest. He can’t afford to deal with regret.

Besides, what’s friendship worth compared to a title shot?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm cherry-mox on Tumblr! Come bug me!


End file.
